Project APACHE HANDBRAKE is a semi-active Laundry project intended to search for signs of exonomic digital entities residing on the Internet. Begun just prior to the Millennium, it’s been a low-priority hot potato that’s been passed from CompDem to IT to Mathematical Modeling and finally to its current home, Arcana Analysis' Counter-Possession Unit. HANDBRAKE should fall within the remit of the NIGHTMARE SMOKE committee, but since it's seen as an expensive, low-payout orphan, they've left it to the management of the now-vestigial APACHE committee. The overall NIGHTMARE committee has determined that NIGHTMARE GOLD MUSIC, which HANDBRAKE would clearly spot, is vanishingly unlikely.

Its creator Randy Page is also tweaking HANDBRAKE to search for signs of “naturally evolving” AI on the Internet, but his methodology is unclear and the project demands far more computing power than the Laundry can provide in-house. His requests to outsource the run-time demands are unlikely to be approved.

Randy has nicknamed the HANDBRAKE architecture “ALAN”, after Alan Turing.

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